The Time the Boys Almost Went to War

And I'm not talking about Afghanistan.

Now, with Afghanistan out of the way, what other war would two young Canadian men participate in ? There isn't one. That's the point.

Back in March 2008, Colombia and Venezuela were on the brink of war, threatening to drag other South American countries into war with them. The Colombian military had crossed over into Ecuador and murdered 16 guerrilla FARC fighters. This really pissed off Chavez, and he sent thousands of troops and tanks to line the border between his country and Colombia. The news troubled my family. My father was born and raised in Colombia, my mother lived there for 8 years, both Julian and I were born there, and Daniel was fake born there.

As much as this news troubled the family, my parents being who they are, couldn't resist the temptation to have a little fun at my brothers' expense. So they e-mailed them and told them they would soon be shipped off to battle, of course.

vs.

Who would you put your money on?

Military service is compulsory in Colombia. This led the boys to believe the Colombian government would, in the midst of a huge scale war threat, track them down in Powell River/Victoria and force them into the front lines.

The boys eventually got in touch with my parents on the phone. Mum and Dad quickly realized that Daniel and Julian were taking this war situation seriously. As any responsible parents would, they confessed their joke and put the boys' minds at ease.

Oh wait, no they didn't

They convinced them they were definitely going to war. Soon too, my parents expected. It was their patriotic duty as well as the law. Consequences for not going would be inhumane. They were definitely going to war.

This, of course, was complete bullshit.

This, of course, was unknown to my brothers.

It was hard not to hear the concern in their voices when the subject was brought up. It had been a while since either of them had been on a hike, and now they were expected to fight guerrilla jungle-dwellers with machetes. I bet Julian now wished he had participated when my dad taught us the basics of knife fighting.

Sadly, it didn't take Daniel or Julian long to conclude that they would most likely not be drafted. After they came to this conclusion, you can bet they denied ever having entertained the idea in the first place. Although I'm sure it came as a relief when the confrontation between the two countries basically amounted to nothing.

I'm not really sure what possessed my parents to convince their sons they were going off to war and, certainly, their deaths. But they thought it was hilarious. I guess that's just what you have to learn to expect when you're brought up Biagi.